Chapter 6: soulmate who wasn't meant to be

 The Aftermath

(tw: foul language)

Anne-

A week went by since the play day. I was trying to do okay but somehow, I wasn’t, and I think it was evident. Mark was trying to divert my mind, but I couldn’t, although I wanted to, I just couldn’t do it. I could not get my head around the absurdity of last week’s prop room scenario. It was nothing at all so why was I still affected by that? I wanted to cry but I didn’t, I wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t. I wanted to ask Juliana why she did that, but I didn’t, and I was not allowed to either. she was sent somewhere I am not aware of, and my parents won’t tell, I guess it was better this way. But why me? Why does this all happen to me? Why does Juliana always want to hurt me? I thought we were best friends, right? I was over that shit (almost) why did she have to come back to ruin me again? I think what hurts the most is that it was her, and her again. It was like getting wounded on the already existing scabs and I was bleeding again but it hurts even more now.

Mark-

I am worried about Anne, like very. She was not eating, she was not smiling, she was not annoyed by my absurd talk, giggling at my dad jokes, or enacting her favorite monologues from classics which she does a lot. She was lifeless. I hated her seeing this way. It felt as if someone turned off the lights of the whole town, as if birds forgot how to chirp as if the sun never came up and even dead Shakespeare died again. I just wanted to rip Juliana’s eyes, burn her hand from whom she touched my Anne, I want to hit her and finish her existence. I want her death to be slow because of Anne’s suffrage, I want her to suffer too. I wanted her to know that when she hurts Anne, she hurts people and just not one person. Unfortunately, I did not know where she was, but I did know where her mom lived.

After school on Friday, I drove up to south Connecticut, New Haven to meet Juliana’s mother. When I passed by Yale it reminded me of the first time when in the library Anne told me she wanted to go to Yale and had been preparing for it since middle school. When I finally reached Juliana’s house, I hesitated to ring the bell for some reason, as soon as I was going to her mother opened the door, a little startled to see me standing by the door. I greeted her and introduced myself as “I am sorry to interrupt you like this but just wanted to ask if you are Juliana Webster’s mother, right? By the way, I am Mark Geller from her old school” As soon as I said her daughter’s name she looked down in embarrassment and told me to come in. “so, um what has she done with you, Mark? Whatever it is I am sorry on behalf of her, I am I-“she said. “ma’am you have nothing to be sorry about, the actual culprit should be, not you” She nodded her head and I continued “I am here regarding Anne’s matter…I just want you to deliver this message to Juliana if you could, I would have done it by myself if I knew where she was” “It's okay, go on”. I stiffed myself straightened my back and started speaking “Ma’am I think you know more than I that how Anne and Juliana were close, and Juliana’s actions have affected Anne more than it has anyone, in the long term. I have no idea why she came back and why she did that but with all due respect I want you to tell her to fuck off. Anne is very important to me and ma’am when I tell you she has stopped living, I am not even exaggerating. She is lacking in studies and everything because of your daughter, whatever her unresolved issues with you or anyone, she has no right to treat Anne like this” Sudden rage crawled upon me and I knew I crossed my line but I couldn’t handle my temper and just went on with my eyes being teary “please ma’am please I don’t want your daughter to ever try to contact or ever try to associate with Anne again because when she cries, every inch of my body falls apart and if your daughter try scheme something again, I will end her” what the actual- what did I just blabbered to her mom- I mean I am not sorry for anything that I said but to whom I said to. She folded her arms to her chest looking curiously at me while she was still sitting on the sofa calmly and I was drenched in anger standing on their red carpet flowing down my anger and making the carpet appear even red. She started speaking “About your issue with Jules contacting Anne, it won’t happen, I guarantee to you because this time she went to asylum because of numerous things she did” and showed the scar on her forearm covering the whole space of it. “there’s more and not just to me but many people Mark dear, your Anne, me are not just the only ones. Thank you for visiting, genuinely, to tell me how much it hurts. I needed to know that”.

I felt confused and guilty, I wanted to hug Mrs. Webster, but would that be appropriate I don’t know, I hugged her anyway and apologized. After the evening spent there, it was time to leave. I was on her doorstep for the final goodbye and it was raining cats and dogs exactly like the first time it rained when I saw Anne at the orientation. I turned my back to her to leave and saw her standing before me.