chapter 5: soulmate who wasn't meant to be

 THE PLAY DAY

(TW: attempt to assault)

And showtime. I was backstage trying to handle the situation of finally play being in execution, but I couldn’t handle anything that was going on because of what was happening on the inside, in me, and it wasn’t just because of the play but because of Juliana. She… came in today in the morning, in the prop room, I was alone, and it was chaotic. I couldn’t see anyone because of all the feathers from a chicken outfit and because of last night’s party. It was dark and I was searching for the switch and the lights suddenly turned on, I looked around the room and asked who it in the room and it was Juliana grinning and smirking, slouching with a cigarette in her hand, shabby clothes, and her disheveled hair. This scene reminded me of my worst nightmares. I took a small step back and she took one step forward, it seemed like she was the predator, and I was her prey she could eat me and engulf me and leave nothing out of me. The worst was that I was letting her treat me like this, still. I stopped myself from taking the next step and stood straight, trying too hard to make eye contact with her, and told her to leave. She replied “Oh come on Anne you’re not fun anymore, remember when we used to play hideout and you and I once hid out in your parent’s tool room? When you and I were standing so...” and came towards me closer and closer “…close and I could feel your airbrushing on my nose…” and closer “…my lips”. I replied hiding my fear and looking up into her eyes “You are making this up Juliana” “you can lie to everyone but not to yourself and not to…me” and came closer and brushed her hand on my waist, while I was wearing a crop top, that too in a way it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to scream and shout but I couldn’t, it was as if my lips had been sealed but my eyes were raining slowly, drop by drop. Her hands could have gone further wrong but soon as that could happen Mark came in to try on his costume. He saw Juliana what she was trying to do and took her by her shoulder. I could see the rage in his eyes, Mark- the guy who never gets heated up even if someone talks to him rudely or pushes him in the corridor, the guy who says sorry to even the chair and loves and does not hate anything was raging and was on the verge to beat the shit out of her. “if you weren’t a girl, I would’ve punched you right into your ugly looking rapist face”. Juliana replied irritated and scoffed “If she's enjoying it why are you being hyped up about huh? Too bad she doesn’t like boys, or I don’t know just you? Not my problem” She turned around me and I slapped her. I slapped her so hard that my hand started to bleed, and she almost fell to the ground. Just as soon I could kick her ass, kick everywhere and burn her hands, our teacher came in, that too the councilor, ha- the timing.

The incident was reported immediately and well this time things got even more serious than before. Luckily no severe medical damage happened to her except a swelled-up cheek and 3-month detention for me, although my parents rioted for it, Mark rioted for it even my whole theatre team did. I just didn’t want an unnecessary ruckus about this and told everyone to focus on tonight and told everyone that I was fine, and it was fine. I mean technically nothing happened right? She just…I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it.

“Anne, we didn’t talk about the incident properly. Are you fine with…” I didn’t let him complete the sentence I just said, “It's fine, I’m fine everything’s good…I mean technically nothing happened right?” and laughed a little. He looked at me, almost in tears and with a sympathetic look. He hugged me, his hands wrapped around me, and out of all his hugs this one was the tightest and the best yet, but it didn’t help. I was somehow burning, and waist was injured, and my head was pounding. I was suffocating not because of his hug but because of the oxygen I was inhaling, same as Juliana and now suddenly I wanted to burn myself. Dear lord please this be the last of what happens with me. This hug, that thing in the prop room. I don’t want to live anymore and busted into tears in his shoulders. But Thank God it was after the play.